Georgia is turning 1 year old in 2 months. I am totally beside myself with excitement for the future, with a dash of sadness because ...well...where is my little baby going?
I seriously always thought it was stupid when parents said things like that. I would be all, "DUH-your kids grow up dumbass, get over it" and get annoyed by the whole thing. I totally didn't get it-but then, as a woman who had never had a child, I really should not have been expected to.
So, what is this "it" I speak of? I don't know if I can put it into words. I think "it" is the big frying pan of love that smashes you in your face as soon as you have your baby. I remember when I took her home, the thought of her turning 10 months old made me sob. I would miss my teeny tiny infant. And now when I think about her being a toddler, I want to cry because I will miss my little baby. And I'm sure when she is a toddler I will think about her being a big girl and I will cry about that too..it goes on and on I guess, although I don't remember my mom ever getting very emptional about me growing up. Obviously, Georgia will not remember me crying over her now too small "coming home from the hospital outfit", but I can still see myself crying when she graduates 6th grade, so IDK, I think I'm just destined to be one of those sobbing mothers.
But anyway, crying aside, a first birthday party is in order. I don't really want to have anything big. I'm just not up for it. As long as she has a cake to smash around, we should be good. In some respects, I think I'm a great mom, but as far as sending cards,pictures, parties... things like that-I suck. I did not do those Christmas cards that everyone does-the baby looking adorable in some type of Holiday ensamble sitting under the tree, or in a quaint little park filled with snowflakes-parents gazing adoringly. Nope-coudn't get it together for that. Maybe next year. I thought i would be all over that shit. Didn't happen.
The other things that has suprised me about myself is in regards to G's wardrobe. When I was pregnant, I KNEW I would not accept hand me down clothes. I was totally against it, thinking that I could provide for my own child, and that she would be dressed in her "Sunday Best" every single day. Sure-dumbass. There is a reason why other mom's do not do this. You are not the only clothes loving mother who has ever had a child.
Picture this. A dress from Janie and Jack. $80 dress for a 2 month old girl. Cute matching bloomers for $10, $20 baby headband, and $10 baby tights. I forget how much the shoes were. Anyway this one night we go out to dinner for my cousin's graduation party. I put Georgia in her Academy Award worthy get-up from Janie and Jack, not really thinking anything of it. I always overdress, why should my daughter be different?
As soon as we get to the restaurant she pukes all over both of us. I only have a minor freak out. It can be wiped off! The Janie and Jack dress can be salvaged! I take her to the bathroom... lo and behold! A changing station! This will be easy peasy! It is my first experience at the "changing station". Little did I know.
I'm trying to wash her dress, and keep her from falling of of the changing station. OMG WTH!! Riiiiiiip! She busts ass like nobodys business and I smell a funk so bad, I thought I was going to pass out. Poop. She freaking pooped. Ugh. I lift up the dress. There is shit EVERYWHERE. How did this baby make that much shit? It was all over her tights, all over the shoes-I rip them off, take off the diaper-all of a sudden the poo is flying out of her like a machine gun. OMG! SHE IS POOING AGAIN! DUCK! I'm avoiding poo spray, trying to hold her on the little changer, trying to fish the wipes out of the diaper bag, now there is shit all over her dress, she throws up again. I'm like what is samhill is going on? it was all so fast! I'm also traumatized because I actually saw the poo come from her butt and for some reason that really made me feel sick. The Jack and Janie dress is my last concern, as I try to change Georgia and clean the bathroom of the projectile poo. Then she pees everywhere. I thought people peed before they pooed? Now there is PEE all over the changing table and on the floor-I'm practially SOBBING at this point-I have no idea what to do. I did not bring myself a change of clothes-I'm wearing a white top, I'm holding wipeys, my hand is on Georgia on the changing table, there is pee all over everything now. What the fuck?
I was ready to take my white top and turn it into a surrender flag full of poop, when thankfully, my cousin walked in the bathroom.
"Can yo go get my mooooooooom" my 33 year old self sobs to my 17 year old cousin. Meahwhile Georgia is just sitting there drooling like a mental patient. UGH!
So anyway, my mom comes in and helps me. And that was the last $80 dress I bought for Georgia. It is hand me downs from now on people! no bows, no tights, no nothing. Girlfriend is destined for a life of second hand baby tracksuits and I am okay with that!
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