Whistle While You Work

I've spent two years in battle, and I cannot subject myself any longer to the exhaustion.

Not motherhood, not being a wife, not work, no diets to speak of....no. I have given up on KEEPING MY HOUSE IMMACULATE.

Now,I know that sounds stupid. I have a child. There is going to be shit (literally and figuratively) everywhere. It's just taken me two years to come to terms with the fact that my house is going to look like babies r us threw up everywhere.

I admit, before I had children, I winced when I would see a messy house with toys and shit thrown everywhere, crayon on the walls, a potty in the middle of the floor. i would think "holy fuck, those are some lazy ass people! Pick up some damn toys!"

Okay, well actually I never thought that, but it sounds very dramatc for this post-so I am going to keep it! In reality I only sort of thought that. If you remember, when I was looking for a jumperoo I searched high and low for a wooden or neutral colored one so it would match my furniture, and I have fought the good fight when it comes to toys in big, loud primary colors, disney character outfits, and princess shit. I've refused to give in to it, every night I was cleaning the crap out of my house putting everything just so, pottery barning my mantle, making sure my dining room table was catalague ready, vacuuming and mopping the hardwood floors every other day, and putting toys away so it looked like a child did not live in my house. I couldn't stand the clutter, I HATED how my house looked,  and I wanted to rip my hair out everytime I saw a dumb plastic toy on the floor.  

Fact is, I indeed have a child..who likes to play with toys. And a dog who sheds everywhere. And a dining room table that sometimes doubles as a laundry table. ...I just couldn't keep up. I tried. Seriously I did.

Also- has anyone noticed that all little girl toys have been totally trampified since we played with toys? Georgia has a Cinderella doll and she has on a mini skirt and has those big cartoon hoe eyes that used to be reserved only for Sailor Moon. And her My Little Hoe-nies..ahem..I mean PONIES. They are skinny, sexy unicorns with slut eyes. What happend to sweet Bluebell and her big ass? Even Minnie is more glamorous (Is that possible??).  I'm all for glamour and everything, but really am having a problem with all this little girl shit being sexified. I really didn't care about it when Georgia was born, and I do not have a problem with her doing girl things like playing dress up, or being a princess or wanting to have a tea party...but I don't get why my little pony is now ponirexic haand looks like she sticks her hoof down her her throat on a daily basis. Or why I saw a bathing suit for a 2 year old with a deep v-neck and cutouts at the sides?

Anyway, that has nothing to do with my house looking a mess, but seriously Toy Company CEO-get a grip! Stop tramping up the girl section will ya? There will be plenty of time for that in 20 years. But not now.

On a somewhat related note, Georgia pretends to shave her legs when she is taking a bath and asked me to wear make up. I told her she could wear make up when she turned 13, so when Chris came upstairs she said, "Daddy I am almost 13!" I'm sort of excited for that.

So anyway, that is my update. My hose is a mess, I still like to drink wine, I still wear my bootie shorts, and I still love 1977 Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham. 

 I'm still me except I'm a mom.