So are these dead birds freaking anyone else out? Dead doves, dead crabs-I can't take it! I'm seriously going to be pissed if the world is ending and I have spent my last months fat, pregnant, and sober. This is all like the beginning of a horror movie, where the audience sees all kinds of signs of the apocalypse, and the poor unknowing earthlings in the movie just go about their daily business-naive to any kind of space invaders or Jesus coming down on a cloud or whatever. The main family is usually a nice middle class couple with a child...or a CHILD ON THE WAY...I'm just sayin. The movie will be more exciting if someone (me?) gives birth just as the aliens are destroying the earth-and the only survivor is the baby who is adopted by the aliens ,or Jesus or whoever, and GROWS UP TO SAVE THE WORLD. How is that for having a overachieving kid?
So that would be cool. It would also be cool to have Jesus as your kid. As the mother, you wouldn't have to put out on some random night when you are tired from work, with hairy legs, and the last thing you feel like doing is yor 25 year old sexy starlet act for your husband. It's just like, you wake up and you are preggers. Not only that-Jesus would come in really handy throughout the years. "Damn, I'm having a dinner party and I forgot to get wine! Jesus, can you turn mommy's water pitcher into a few pitchers or wine, and while you are at it-do something with these loaves of bread."
See? It would be kind of awesome.
Speaking of parties and food, I would like to discuss something that bugs the shit out of me. What I would like to discuss is FREE FOOD AT THE OFFICE.
Okay. I get that it's fun to have office parties. I get that sometimes it's cool to not have to pay for your lunch. But I HATE HATE HATE when people totally freak out about it. Like, they run in with containers and plates and fill up like it's going to be their last meal on earth. And it's usually people you have never seen before coming into your ofice party and taking leftovers. It's like they run in, dig in and run out. They don't stay and socialize. I have no idea why they have "to go" containers at work, but they have them, and they pretty much just act like vultures. Sometimes they get mad that "no one told them there was free food" if they've already brought their lunch. Sometimes they run to get free food even if they've already eaten lunch. God, it's so trashy and embarrassing, and I really can't stand it.
Today a lady who does not work in my department was having a retirement party. Someone from the department was nice enough to invite everyone on our floor to have lunch. I hadn't eaten, and I was trying ( and failing) to motivate my fat pregnant, self to get off my chair to go out and get something to eat. Needless to say, I was thankful for the invite. Okay so the first thing I see when I walk out into the hallway was a lady standing there with a bag-she obviously just picked up her lunch from a pizza place or Chinese place. "No one told me there was food, I just went out BOUGHT LUNCH!" ( Oh! The horror!)
So, anyway I walk past all of the horrified people who have already bought lunch, and walk into the party room. I walk over the lady who was retiring, introduced myself, and congratulated her, thanked her for inviting me to her party blah blah blah and she cut me a piece of cake and told me to help myself. That seems like the nice normal thing to do. So I'm standing there, and all of a sudden in run in the heard of buffalo who have already bought lunch. They FILL their plates up, don't say anything to anyone, including the lady who is retiring, and just..like...leave. THAT IS SO RUDE! RUDE! RUDE! RUDE!
I wasn't surprised, really. It just makes me mad that people are that selfish. GRRRR.
No comments:
Post a Comment