Sunday, December 19, 2010

blah blah blah bitch moan pregnant blah blah blah

I've  recieved a few emails from friends asking me to post a new blog ASAP. How nice! So, in honor of YOU, yes YOU, I am posting today.

Honestly, I haven't felt like writing because I know whatever I write is going to just be one big bitch-fest. I'm so O-V-E-R being pregnant. Yeah-I know my pregnancy hasn't been that bad. I've only  weigh about 119. But on me that's a LOT. I had a ridiculously stupid breakdown in Anthropologie today. I  started crying because everyone in there was cute wearing cute clothes, and I wear the same 5 fucking maternity outfits every week. I HAAATE it so much. I try to mix and match and wear cute accessories, but really I just despise maternity clothes and I hate how my body looks.  I've pretty much refused to let Chris see my naked pregnant bod. It isn't gross or anything, I guess. I don't have stretch marks or cottage cheese thighs/ass, but I just feel frumpy. I always feel off-balance, and I run into tables and things all the time because I sometimes forget how much bigger I am.  I miss my Victoria's Secret stuff. I am going to burn this maternity shit as soon as I have my baby. Who I love-don't get me wrong.  I'm totally blown away by the connection I have with this little thing, and she's what keeps me going.  Yes, I feel that delivering her safely into the world and having her be happy and healthy is way more important that the fact that I hate being fat.  But a girl is allowed to complain, right?

See-I told you .You didn't want me to write anything.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

I tip my hat to you

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone, and you thought you looked a certain way, but then realized you didn't? I know that makes absolutely nooo sense so I'll describe what just happened to me.

I'm walking Buckley, and I pass by this new little store in my neighborhood. There is a sign in the window that says "Boutique" and they have a bunch of cute second-hand clothes in the window, a super cute retro leather jacket, artwork, jewlrey...things like that. So I decide to go in and see what it's all about. Now when I went in I totally forgot that I had changed out of my work clothes before I took Buckley on his walk. So in my brain, I'm still looking cute.  I have on my mature, yet sassy black cap that screams "urban chic, bitch", funky earrings from BCBG, and my cute gray leggings that match (just enough "go with", but look not too matchy matchy) my purple and gray  jacket.    I'm talking art and fashion with this guy, I'm all like  "Yeah, he probably thinks I'm a super cool city chick."  I'm telling him that I have some stuff that I don't wear anymore and I'll bring it by ( Like- he should be SO LUCKY that I, Teresa Kelly, fashionista extraordinaire will do him a favor and allow him to sell some of my awesome clothing) LOOK HOW FASHIONABLE I AM WHILE PREGNANT!

He gives me his card, we say our goodbyes, and I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror before I walk out.

I did not look anything like I thought I looked. First of all, I wasn't wearing my cool city girl black hat. I was wearing my fucking pink and red Dr. Suesse  Cindy Lou Who looking thermal hat. No funky earrings. I WAS, however, wearing my purple and gray jacket, but I also forgot I changed into my pre pregnancy bubble gum pink BEBE sweatpants that look like they are going to bust open if I so much as fart because the are an XXS and I am not really and XXS these days. Not to mention I KNOW I have a serious panty line, in addition to the fact that  the words BEBE are written across my across my ass with only SOME of the pink and silver "rhinestones" ( really, I bought these?) still in place.

How did I forget I got changed? Do you know what it's like talking to someone in a pink Dr. Seusse hat, when you think you have on a hip, cool person city hat? DO YOU? It's weird. Very weird.