So. I am pregnant. 10 weeks to be exact. At this very moment you are reading this I am growing a person AND i am growing an organ.
Yep, you heard me right! In addition to growing a person, I also get to grow a brand new shiny full blown placenta to enhance the fun that is pregnancy! Woot-Woot! Don't be jealous now!
This pregnancy was planned, which is quite a different experience from the one I had with Georgia where when I found out, I was basically like a crying 16 year old who just peed on a stick ..except I was 33 and married. This time, I was pretty happy when I got the big fat positive!
I began to suspect something was up when I put on Jill's black maxi dress and looked like I had just eaten 5 tubs of donuts. I did not immediately suspect pregnancy though, because I had tested 2 weeks earlier and gotten NEGATIVE, so I thought I was just eating too much or something. I started doing the 30 day ab workout that was all over Facebook, but it wasn't working. I just felt like I was getting more and more bloated. My clothes all looked horrible, I was really tired, and I started to worry that something was wrong. I always think I have a brain tumor. I google the symptom "looks bad in maxi dress" and luckily, brain tumor did NOT show up. But it looked like doing ab crunches was going in the right direction!
So anyway, every night I'm doing these ab crunches, Chris and Georgia are helping me, counting, holding my feet, nothing is working. I'm getting pissed that I'm getting fat, I keep thinking maybe pregnant, but I just took the test and it was negative, SO WHAT IS IT? This went on all weekend. I went to my mom's house and fell asleep during our fathers day party, I did not want to drink wine or eat steak, and I was totally grumpy. Clue #1!!
The next morning I got up for work feeling like total shit, and all I could think about was food. I got a bacon egg and cheese from wawa and washed it down with a bag of Cheetos and some kind of crazy koolata coffee that is really annoying sounding to order. At lunch I was dying for sushi so I ordered like three spicy tuna rolls and then was freaking out because I wanted ice cream. I walked to Ben and Jerry's and got some kind of double scoop thing in freaking waffle cone, and for the first time that day, I felt relaxed and happy.
Ahhhhh. I'm just sitting at my desk all fat and happy from the waffle cone and all of a sudden I'm like, "I'm totally pregnant." I just knew! So I left work AGAIN and went to CVS to get a pregnancy test!
Buying a pregnancy test is still weird, even when you are 37 and totally allowed to have a baby. I'm never sure if I should walk around the store with my pregnancy test package proudly on display like DAMN I WANT THIS BABY PEOPLE, or if I should hide it because inside I'm sometimes still a really an insecure 16 year old. In reality, no one has probably even noticed that I am holding a pregnancy test, but in my mind EVERYONE is looking at my pregnancy test and trying to figure out if I want to be pregnant or not. I put on my best, "Yes I want to be pregnant face" and carry on... but then...I wonder if anyone thinks it is my first baby! "Oh poor dear. She does not know what she is in for," I imagine them thinking.
BUT I DO KNOW! I AM NOW A BEEN THERE DONE THAT SECOND TIME MOM. I AM AN EXPERT!! So now I have to figure out how to look like not only do I want this baby, I also need to look like it is totally no big deal because this is my second pregnancy, so like yeah whatever bitches. I'm just gonna pee on this stick and then go eat a ham sandwich. YAWN.
I go up to the self check out aisle and try to look very confident, yet bored. Yep...just scanning this boring old pregnancy test. hehehe. no big deal here. *whistles.
GREAT! I THINK IT WORKED! All of the people who were not looking at me totally know that I am a lady in her almost late thirties taking a pregnancy test for her possible second child who was planned. I RULE!
Okay, now my next issue is where do I take the damn thing? It's like 1PM so I am not waiting until I get home. I MUST KNOW! I don't want to use my bathroom at work, because then I would have to throw the test in the trash and someone would somehow see it...maybe. Probably not, but it was just all so DRAMATIC and I had to find somewhere fast!
Humm...this looks like a good building. I go into some building on campus and find the bathroom. yippee!! My heart is totally pounding and I feel dizzy and like I am about to cry and I take my pregnancy test the way millions of other women have taken before me! Or whatever. I don't really know how to make peeing on a stick sound more interesting.
I wait, wait, wait, wait. OMG. OMG. OMG.
BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A new baby. I can't believe it! I can't believe how emotional I am getting in this random bathroom!I happily take a picture of the positive test, and then throw the evidence away and like RUN out of the bathroom and call Chris. "I'm pregnant!"
So romantic isn't it?
