Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Taking my own advice

So I went to my doc for my 20 week anatomy scan, and while everything looks good with my little girl, it was noted that my placenta is covering my cervix. For those not in the know, your baby has to travel through the cervix to come out. If your placenta is covering your cervix, there is no way for baby to exit. That is like the short, easy definition of what is called "placenta previa"

Right now I have placenta previa. The doctor said I have to go back when I am 32 weeks to re-check and if it has not moved, he will schedule me a c-section for 37 weeks.

I almost died on the table.

A c-section? EXCUSE ME?

I seriously got all huffy and was like, "UM sorry, I don't DO c-sections" and basically acted like a total bitch. A) Because I had no idea what the reasoning for the c-section was for. I figured it was just a doctor telling me I had to have a c-section because it made life easier for him. and B) Because...I have no idea why. I mean, I have not ever wanted to have a c-section or anything, but I certainly have never judged other women for having them and I have ALWAYS said that it is not important HOW your baby is born, but that it is born healthy and safe.

And for full disclosure, I sort of roll my eyes at women who have 5 year olds and are not over their c-sections from 5 years ago. So until that moment, I had no idea that I had a problem with c-sections.

Before going forward, I need to note that this is not a judgmental piece on c-sections. Please keep that in mind.

It was seriously just my natural reaction when the doctor told me I might have to have one. I was super pissed. I was surprised at how pissed I was, and the doctor did not make things easier by being a fucking dickhead about it. I had to go home and research what the risks to placenta previa are and why a c-section was necessary, because he didn't answer any of my questions. He just kept saying,     "Don't worry, it's probably going to move."

Chris had to tell me to calm down, and it just like, got very heated for a few minutes.

So anyway, now I have read up on placenta previa, no thanks to Dr. Pencil Dick. I wanted to see if there was a way to assist the placenta in moving or what the alternatives were. I even looked at some really crunchy birthing websites where these people live for unmedicated, orgasmic, fawn assisted vaginal births in the woods, and they were like You should have a c-section with placenta previa.

With placenta previa, I have concluded that I have two options. The two options are:

  • I get a c-section if the placenta does not move. Hysterectomy and blood transfusion are also possible during the surgery if there are complications. 
  • I hemorrhage and die during labor and delivery. 

Okay. I will take a c-section, thank you very much.

I am not happy about it or anything, but what else am I supposed to do?  I just had such an incredible experience giving birth to Georgia maybe I am hoping to repeat it. But actually, it was so unexpected that I don't think it could be repeated. I went in there just praying it would be short and painless and I came out feeling like I had just conquered the world, and the crazy, amazing connection I felt to Georgia DURING childbirth was nothing I prepared myself for or expected. So, like I said, it probably would not happen that way again anyway because it was so unexpected and surprising.

But I am disappointed. And sad. And surprised that I feel this way.

So there is that.

The other thing I am upset about is having to do it at 37 weeks. I guess "they" do not want the baby to drop at all, and since 37 weeks is considered "full-term" that is the safest time to do it?  As I type this I am actually not 100% sure why I can't wait until at least 38.5 weeks when the lungs will be a little more developed so note to self-call OB and ask!

Right now, I am scared as shit to have a c-section. I know many who women who have had them, and loved them, or had them and ...did not die or anything.  I know if I have one I will survive too. It's just weird to be told you HAVE to get one. I guess I really can't describe how I feel. The whole thing the placenta previa, c-section, hemorrhage, early's just a lot for me to take in. I cried like 3 times at work yesterday and I never cry, and I couldn't figure out why I was crying but it was probably because of this.

Did anyone have c-sections due to placenta previa? Please share your stories! I need some support.

I also need to take my own advice that I always unsolicitedly give out: Your birth plan should be: Do not have a birth plan.