Not so Fashion Forward

Remember how I told you I was feeling a little BLAH in the fashion department? Lots of slacks and blouses have been gracing my frame these days. Today as I was getting ready for work, I decided to wear something that I've neglected for whatever reason. I pull out a little dress that I don't think has EVER seen the light of day. I'm pretty sure I have never worn it.

It's a summer dress, but can be (as you see) "winterized" with the right accessories. The actual problem with the dress is that it needs a belt around the waist-but I can't find anything that doesn't look stupid.  I covered up the minor flaw with a sweater, and I think it looks cute. Here are the deetz:

Dress: LOFT

Sweater: Express

Shoes: Jessica Simpson

Tights: Guess

Bag: Express

Necklace: LOFT

Earrings: Anthropologie

Bracelet: H&M

Ring-J-Crew

Sunglasses: Wet Seal (OMG I know-they were only $2) AND I am wearing glasses in this picture because I did not have any make up on yet. I should have at least thrown on lipstick but whateves.

So I go into work, proud of my fashion accomplishment today. I think I look back to my old fun, funky- not -mom self. There is a spring in my step, and a bounce in my bootie. I'm prancing around the office in my heels, feeling like a million bucks.

All of a sudden, at 10AM on the dot, in walks a coworker of mine. She looks like a supermodel. She has hair to DIE for. She is always dressed to the nines.  I stupidly think we are in the same league fashion-wise. Naive little thing that I am, I'm all  Yeah, two fashionable chicks, talking fashion, I am so cool again.  I proceed to gush:

"I LOVE your dress!"

"Thank you. It's Gieanchy."

Um...I have no idea who the fuck that is, but I smile and nod and pretend I have TONS of Gieanchy pieces casually hanging in my closet.  I try to recover.

"Ahem, and I adore you belt. It totally makes the outfit." 

ADORE? Did I really just say ADORE?? Not to mention I'm totally jealous, because this belt would look PERFECT with my outfit.

"Isn't it beautiful? It's vintage, and I mean VINTAGE Donna Karan. It would look beautiful with your dress."

I want so badly to say "YES! IT IS THE BELT I AM LOOKING FOR! I REALLY ACTUALLY WANTED TO WEAR MY VINTAGE DONNA KARAN CORSET BELT TODAY, BUT...UM..MINE IS IN THE WASH!"

I'm so fashionably defeated. Donna Karan vs Jessica Simpson? There is no contest. She is Lady Gaga, and I am Ke$ha. My day of fashion has been ruined by the  office Carrie Bradshaw.

I am the office Barrie Cadshaw.

I sit there in my little LOFT dress, smile, and decide not to ask her about her shoes.