Chocolat

So, like, who else bribes their kid in the morning with chocolate?

Oh you don't?

You must be a good parent.

There are many things that I do that deserve nominations into the "Mom Hall of Fame" but getting myself and Georgia dressed and out the door by 7:30AM is not one of my most amazing acts of parenting.

So, Georgia has school from 8AM to 3:30PM. Yes, I said school. It is not daycare, as they tell us OVER and OVER again. They do not tolerate lateness, no diapers allowed, and homework is to be completed every other night. I'm sure people think this sounds horrible, but really the homework is like a 5 second worksheet that I actually like to doing with her because I feel like I am involved in her learning.

She is speaking French ( the second half of her day is in all French, no English spoken), she can spell and write her name (in English..well probably in french too LOL), she is doing a little math on her own, and her artwork has improved so much! She is playing the violin.

"Mom, my violin is now in rest position" and she sounds exactly like a teacher when she says "rest position" haha.

She is learning to pay attention and to stay focused, and hey, if somebody else wants to teach my kid to stay focused I am all for it!

So anyway, there I go talking about how great my kid is again!

But wait! She actually sucks sometimes too! like, in the morning when I try to get us ready. I miss the days of old, when she like, did whatever I wanted her to do. Yes, that was a fabulous time.

So anyway, here is basically how every morning is in my house.

Chris, in order to pick her up by 3:30 has to be at work by like 7AM so he leaves around 6ish. He brings me up a cup of coffee every single morning, and tells me it's time to get up! If I were smart, I would get up and take a shower and get ready so that when Georgia got up at 6:45ish I would be ready to deal with her.

But no.

I am stupid and we both get up at the same time, and every morning I'm like 'UM WHY DIDN"T I GET UP FIRST?"

What should only take 10 minutes (getting Georgia dressed and brushing her teeth) takes 45 minutes. There is a lot of planning and trickery involved in getting a toddler out of the house at that early hour.

So first, I need to figure out who to dress first. Myself or G? Yesterday morning I had to make up a song called "I'm just picking out clothes and shakin my hiney" and I shake my butt in her face as I hand her a variety of shirts and pants to choose from. This worked yesterday and today. I try to avoid screaming at all costs. I will make myself look stupid.

I have also taken to telling her about some imaginary girl in order to get her to do shit.

"Oh okay. You don't want to take a bath? I am going to give the "othe girl" a bath."

Georgia toally freaks out and is like, "NOOOOO!!!!! DON"T GIVE THE 'NOTHER GIRL A BATH!! I WANT A BATH!"

And then she gets in the bathtub. Mean? yes. Efficient? yes.

So... rump shaking, chocolate, fake children. this is how I work my morning. If I don't cry and  if I do get a sip of coffee in, I consider it a victory!