I do not want my child to be scared of me. I do not want her to listen to me because she is frightened of me. I am totally against hitting and corporal punishment. It does nothing but cause anxiety and low self esteem, and there are better ways to communicate to your child that they are wrong and you are disappointed. I'm just trying to figure out what they are.
Georgia for the most part is a very good child. Lately though, she is testing me, and it is deliberate and annoying. She has never drawn on anything, and Saturday she drew on her little potty seat which really I don't care about, but I need to give her the message that we don't draw on things.
"Mom, I drew on my potty seat." She totally told on herself.
She was WAITING for me to react. I could see it in her face. I asked her why she drew on it, and she said it was because she was a baby.
WTF? Um...Humm....I didn't really know what to say. I just told her I was disappointed in her and that she was a big girl and big girls don't draw on their potty.
"Mom! Don't say that! Don't say you "dis-pointed!" she started to cry and I felt TERRIBLE, and then wondered what I could have done differently, but then decided there really wasn't much in the way of options.
THEN she goes and gets one of her wipes and starts to try to clean the crayon off and said, "Mom I clean it! Are you still dis-pointed?" This is through tears and crying and I'm just standing there like I really don't know what the heck to do. One hand, I'm happy she is trying to fix it, but on the other hand, the crime doesn't really fit her devastated reaction. I just picked her up, gave her a hug and told her I loved her but not to draw on things anymore and I guess that was that for now.
I've also never done "time out" up until recently. Mostly because if she does act like an asshole, it is very age appropriate, and I don't think preschoolers should be punished for being developmentally appropriate. Like for instance, getting her ready for school in the morning sucks. We are both in tears most days because I just want to walk out the door and get the fuck to work, and she has gotten into this thing where she does not want to get dressed in the morning and it is like WWIII is happening in her bedroom from 7AM-7:30AM.
I do not want to punish her for this, because in my opinion being 2 years old and having to be up, dressed, breakfast, and out the door by 7:30AM every morning is very hard. It is hard for adults! I don't want getting ready for school to seem like punishment, so I try to be calm and patient and I just go into my room and cry and sometimes scream into my pillow. I know if you don't have kids, you can't imagine what would be hard about getting a 2 year old dressed, but OMG it sucks so bad,a nd I usually bribe her with M&M's. By the time I get to work, I feel like I've already put in a full day, and I only have child, and I have no idea how moms of more than one kid get to work int he morning, but just know that if you are one of these moms ...I worship you.
So, there is that. I don't punish her for not wanting to go to school because damn, I never wanted to go to school. I get it.
Besides drawing on the can, the other thing she did last night that was very out of character, was hit me. When she was like 18 months old she hit me a few times, but she was too young to understand "time out" or why you shouldn't hit people so I just ignored it and she stopped doing it.. At almost 3 years old now, she totally knows hitting sucks and that it hurts feelings, and blah blah blah.
Last night though, I gave her a few sips of my ginger ale and she thought that was super awesome. When she asked me for more, I said that she had finished it and we could have more later in the week. My answer did not go over well, and she totally smacked me in the face. I was STUNNED. I asked her if she knew hitting was wrong and she said yes, and then I asked her if she was sorry and she said no and hit me again!
Time for "time out"
Of course she started crying she did not want time out. I haven't really done it before, only threatened it but we walked over to a chair and I said "It's time to take a breather. Let's count to ten." We sit on the chair together and I counted to ten, and then asked her if she was sorry, and she's all like, NO! I WANT MORE GINGER ALE!!"
Um..duh. I should tell her WHY she can't have more ginger als. Stupid me. If she doesn't know why I'm saying no, this time out is really pointless. So we count to ten again and I tell her that soda is only good once in a while and if you drink too much your teeth fall out. She was totally into this answer. "WHAAT!!' she says and then is like hysterically laughing. I asked her if she was sorry and she said yes and gave me a kiss and then I asked her if she knew why she could not have more ginger ale and she's all like " YES! MY TEETH WILL FALLED OUT! HAHAHAHAHAAAA!" So we get out of the chair and return to our show on the couch. Seems successful, right?
"Mom. Mom. I want time out again."
Jesus Christ.
"Mom. Mom. Mom. I want time out again".
Ignore.
SMACK. She hits me and says "Okay now lets do time out. "
Blah. So much to learn. Will I ever figure it out?
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