Wednesday, December 31, 2014

32 week update brought to you from my couch

I went to the doctor on Monday to check out my placenta, and unfortunately it has not moved enough for them to advise a vaginal delivery. The nurse was ready to set a date for my c-section, and I basically begged her for one more ultrasound before scheduling. She was so nice, and said she did not see why we could not do another ultrasound 36 weeks.  She spoke to the doctor and he said that would be fine, but if it was still in the same place I will have a c-section at 37 weeks.

I am just...so...annoyed at all of this. I'm trying not to be a big baby about it, and if it happens then I will go into it with the best attitude I can muster up, but it just all sounds horrible. Like, if it were just a c-section with no placenta previa I would feel a lot better, but the risk of hemorrhaging, blood transfusions etc..  because of my fucked up placenta is like too much for me to deal with. I don't want to have a c-section and more importantly, I don't want to have one with a medical complication.

I've reached out to a bunch of friends who have had sections, and they have given me great advice. I now have a list of questions for my doctor next week when I see her. I didn't even know what I should ask so now I feel a bit more informed

I guess I'm sort of doing a birth plan. I don't want to be totally out of it during surgery. I  would like to try to nurse immediately after (baring no medical/placenta complications) and some friends told me this was possible and that they did it, so I feel a bit better knowing this is at least somewhat of an option for me. I was told to get a tummy band, ask for glue and not stitches, walk around as soon as I can, what type of tea to drink for gas bubbles ( or something-I'm still confused about the potential gas thing) , and different ways to keep the incision site comfortable and pain free.

I've also gotten really stupid advice like, "You will not love your baby any less if you have a c-section" and things of that nature. F you. I'm not an asshole. I just don't want my stomach cut open for major abdominal surgery and to be bedridden any longer than I need to be. It has nothing to do with loving my daughter. AGGHHHH. That actually gets me fired up, so I will stop thinking about it.

As placenta previa is an extremely seriously medical complication during vaginal birth, I am very thankful that there is another option. I really am. I'm just super scared and disappointed. My birth with G was easy I think as far as birth goes. I pushed for 21 minutes and was walking around, showering, shaving my legs within an hour or two. I just want that to happen again. Wah.

So anyway, in other news, life is getting difficult. I'm basically a pretty useless person these days. Being home for the holiday break is actually much harder than going to work. At work I sit at my desk and occasionally get up to go to the bathroom or something. At home I'm trying to clean, vacuum, chase dust bunnies, laundry, keep up with my child...it's exhausting. It usually takes me about 2 hours to clean my entire house and Monday it took me ALL DAY to just straighten up and vacuum downstairs because I kept laying on the couch and falling asleep every 20 minutes.

My insides are so squished that I don't even feel like eating, but I'm forcing food down my throat because I feel so bad for baby June...like I'm starving her or something. Reflux is terrible, I can't breath, ligaments feel like they are being ripped apart, and at the ultrasound the nurse confirmed that the baby is all over my bladder which is super annoying and painful, no to mention that (like her big sister) June is an extremely active baby and kicking the crap out of me even though she is only 4 lbs. Braxton Hicks contractions are in full swing, and this month I can't wait for my face and legs to get all swollen and gross looking because of all the extra fluid in my body.

Yippy Yay! Now the fun really begins!

No comments:

Post a Comment