No crib for a bed...

So with Christmas right around the corner, I've been thinking a lot about how I choose to celebrate the holiday with my daughter and how I feel about religion, and basically what is my responsibility as a parent regarding spirituality, religion, church and all of that stuff that I really don't feel like thinking about.

We don't go to church. I grew up Catholic, went to church every Sunday, went to CCD every week, but I don't practice now. I like some stories in the bible and I think many of them have good lessons that can be applied to my life, but I don't take them literally or think they actually happened.

The last time I did go to church (maybe it was a catholic wedding mass?) I did not take communion because I felt like it would be fake for me to do so.  I formed this opinion on my own without any outside influence, and basically I have been very happy with the idea that spirituality, goodness and grace can be found throughout the universe and not necessarily though God or Jesus. (I don't think they created the universe either, in case you are inclined to ask WHO DO YOU THINK GAVE YOU THIS UNIVERSE TO PUT ENERGY INTO. So. No.  This is not a debate on religion. I'm no debating it.)

Anyway, I work hard on putting positive energy back into the universe too, so that anyone who is looking for it or needs it may one day come across some of mine. I think that when I die I will be reborn as myself with a better understanding of how to balance my karma and learn from my mistakes, and finally when I reach a state of nirvana I will turn into a purple puff of energy that will positively surround my loved ones existing on earth. POOF BITCHES.

So anyway, Christmas.

Georgia is SOOO excited about Christmas. She says it is her favorite holiday, she loves the trees, the songs, the lights, presents of course. Of course we do the whole Santa Clause thing and she loves Santa and he's going to eat milk and cookies...blah blah blah. Actually it's pretty fun, but I DO feel very guilty about lying to her about this guy, and even guiltier when I say things like, 'Let me brush your hair or I'm calling Santa!"  And she looks at me with eyes full of terror, and then obediently stands in from of me so that I can brush her hair. Seriously, it breaks my heart, but damn our mornings are so much more productive now that the big guy is "watching".

So I was thinking about all of this this morning while trying to find a pair of pants that will fit my pregnant ass and then, all of a sudden I was like, "Why do I have absolutely no problem telling her about a fake man breaking into our house and eating our food, but I have a really big problem with telling her the story of baby Jesus and how Christmas came about?  And I'm just talking about #basicbitchchristmas too. Like, I know Jesus was actually born in April or something, and the story isn't the "real" story  and all of that. But that isn't what I mean.

I'm just talking about the story about the manger, wise men, donkeys,virgins, and a peppermint latte. It's sort of a really nice story  (except not really because who the hell wants to give birth in a barn in December, and why is that innkeeper such a dick?) . But the point is, I loved it when I was little. Although now that I am older the virgin part pisses me off, because WTF a woman who has sex or is sexual is not worthy of birthing the son of God? What fucking dipshit man made that up? Fuck you.

Anyway, and then I realized I am giving her absolutely no choice in the matter of religion or spirituality. I'm not even giving her a starting point. She can't choose whether or not to follow religion because there is no choice to make. We just don't talk about it. And a lot of people love religion and I am totally cool with that, and if Georgia one day wants to decide that religion is important in her life, who am I  to deny her of that?  So, I will be buying a book about Christmas day, away in a manger, some candy in wooden shoes,  and teach Georgia about Linus's very important Christmas message while I decide what to do about all of this.

Anyone else in this boat?